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The Love/Hate Relationship

The Love/Hate Relationship

      Before I dive in and explain all the reasons my children drive me completely nuts, let me first tell you how incredibly much I love them. I have two boys-a four and almost two year old. They totally saved my life, and I wholeheartedly adore them... most days.

       I recently quit my job, per my husband’s request, so I could stay home with my boys while he works out of town 5 days a week. Like every parent, we all know, too well, how incredibly hard it is to always do the right thing and always be a good parent. Most of my days sound like this-- "Get off the piano" "We don't put the cat in the refrigerator" "Why are you stabbing the dog with that stick!?" "Stop" "Whhhyyyyy are you pulling every DVD out of the entertainment center!!??? Cut the shit!" And all the while chasing them around, cleaning up after them, cleaning an entire bottle of maple syrup off my once beautiful couch, or screaming at my youngest to stop feeding the dog all the food he can reach in the fridge, only to then immediately take off with a butter knife and throw it into my AC. 

       So, I am convinced I spend more time yelling and cleaning, while half tempted to rip out my hair, than I do playing with them or enjoying our time together. But mostly, I'm daydreaming of taking a hot shower, which I haven't had in days. By the end of the night when I get them to wind down, or fall asleep, a drink is only thing on this mom’s mind. 

       My constant state of overwhelming frustration and overtiredness, seems to keep me in a permanent love/hate relationship with my children. I somehow catch these brief moments where they play together nicely, and sit quietly with me and watch a movie. Or when my oldest will randomly walk over and kiss my leg or my arm and tell me he loves me. I flood with emotions and pure joy and LOVE for these boys that are so amazing, and irreplaceable that I couldn't imagine being mad at them ever. And then sure enough, it all happens again the next day.

      I can only presume that most moms go through this. And know all too well that feeling of love/hate our little bastards make us feel everyday. As if we weren't crazy enough before kids, this is most definitely the bitter cherry on top of the cake.

       Good luck moms. We all need it.

By Jordan Turner

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Comments (1)

  • Annemiek den Hollander

    12 February 2017 at 15:06 | #

    Parenthood can be amazing but also overwhelming, and you are obviusly doing the best you can. Try to see if you can spend a moment alone every now and then too, if even for a few hours, to relax for a brief moment and get back to your kids recharged. Perhaps ask your husband to arrange for this together?

    reply

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