Dear Mother (in law)
Dear "Those" Mother In Laws,
How do you change a light bulb? Do you just hold it up and wait for the world to revolve around you? My child's eating, napping, bed time, burping, playtime and pooping schedule will not be only of your convenience. His kindergarten graduation, soccer game, karate lesson and first kiss will not work around your early bird special, dog walk, Dr. Phil episode, prescription pick up or crossword puzzle.
And when your meddling presence suffocates our home, who runs hell? Do all of you mother in laws take turns? Oh I can see your Hmph's. Your disgusted glances you think I can't decipher on your wrinkling face. Your shifting gaze with passive aggressive comments. Your judgments of my parenting. My home. My "wifely duties." My daily leggings. My chipped nail polish. My colorless lips. My messy bun.
And you know what the two worst things about you are? Your faces. Your criticizing manipulative fake smile. Your mask of legitimate concern or worry. You may fool others but I see the Hyde to your Jekyll.
You can impolitely point out my weaknesses, but I already know them and that makes me superior and strong
You can self righteously point out my mistakes, but I learn from them every day and that will always make me wise
And you can crudely point out my fabulous flaws, but I am already well aware of them and that makes me beautiful
Those chipped fingernails your son holds.
My colorless lip he kisses.
I thank you for that. For him.
But that messy bun you despise. Guess who likes to pull on it when making sweet sexy love to me from behind...
Written by Kristen Ripley, mom of one.